the forging process take TWO.

so. a while ago i told you about the forging process, how it would take time for a lump of iron to be molded into a fine sword. how most of the changes are happening on the inside and are VERY subtle and from the casual observer you cant even tell anything is changing.


well im proud to say that in my opinion, my lump of iron or has gone from rock, to molent iron, to red hot iron ingot. and as of now it is ready to be molded in whatever shape the smithy chooses. and im the smithy. i am happy to say that i can do this, and that i already have.

i made it past the worst of it. as my psychologist jim said i have broken free of the concrete shoes. i am moving forward. and thats all that matters.

lost souls.

good god were to start......... i have no idea how to describe my mind right now so im just gonna try.

while the dawn may be breaking now and i can see my path more clearly theres still a whole mess of problems, while things are starting to be lain out before me, ive been having a lot of what if moments. what if this is wrong? what if im fucking up bigtime? what if ic ant handle it? what if if if if.

i fucking hate that. but at the same time i can seem to do anything about it. but at the same time it helps me know what to do. its hard and scared the hell out of me cause the what ifs are still there but im gonna walk on, blazing my own path with my own two feet, i dont care if it turns out to be the biggest fuck up of the century  im still going to get there myself.